To my surprise, posting has been difficult for me. I have discovered I am still rooting out "perfection." Which is the polite way to say...I am still dealing with fear of man. Ugh! Words are not hard for me to come by; but knowing that they will be written for all to see...causes me to pause a bit before I declare my thoughts for my faithful friends to view and ponder. Guess I am avoiding accountability!
Anyway--this morning is worth writing about.
I was laying in bed this morning--not waiting to drag myself out of bed at 5:30am to start my morning routine, so I found justification to lay in bed just a bit long by asking Papa why I was struggling so much with the basics--ya know...the classics-- feeling undisciplined, lack of accomplishing the goals I have set before me, not seeing my dreams fulfilled...blah blah blah. So, I asked Him the straight question, "what lie am I believing?"
Then the answer came. Remember it's now about 6am...after my 30 minute dumping session of "woe is me." It's still early...so the response I heard was one I am certain I did not think up on my own.
The answer I heard, "you believe the lie that "this" is all you have been allotted in life and now it is a matter of stewardship. anything extra is simply overflow from the goodness of those around you."
Smack! wow, wasn't ready for that one.
But it is true. I was believing the lie that dreams are simply that...just dreams. Funny coming from a girl whose dreams have come true--quite literally. Worse yet, because I believed that God had allotted me just "so much" from His Kingdom I grew complacent--and heart sick. Complacency bred out of believing that "this is it"...is horrifying.
Let's see if I can break this down. I am child of the Most High God. Given authority --keys to the kingdom-- that enable me to bring heaven on earth. Through the price His Son paid for me I have been given authority in my words--they speak life or death. So, if I believe a lie in any area of my life, I start walking out that lie and it breeds complacency--in my case it sounded like this "God is good; I know Him; I hear Him; I guess I just need to learn to be content." That lie is the lie that made my heart sick with deferred hope.
Amazing! God so loved us and made us in His image that even He does not dishonor His creation by overriding the words of our mouth. Instead He he honors His gift to us by allowing the words we speak to take shape. If I speak complacency...my whole life submits to those words. I begin to walk life out in the tenor of a plateau.If I believe that "this is it"...then my body, my emotions, and my mind look for ways to confirm my words. Instead of looking (as Graham Cooke says) for the Hand of Kindness coming toward me each day I was looking for the hand of disappointment to prove my words to be true.
Now, this really got me going. So, I quickly responded by asking for forgiveness and then I asked Papa another question. "So, what's the truth?"
Truth, "My love is enduring and I will never forsake you. I gave you the power of life and death in your tongue. You can continue as you are and out of My love I will bless you. If you want more, then it is time for you to speak more; I have already made provision for it."
Now that was a wake up call...literally. Could the shape of my life be dependent upon my words??
My life is bound by the Word. And since the Word now lives in me, the power to change my life is within me. If I want more, it is time to go beyond hoping...it is time to speak the "more." I get it... PROCLAIM THE GOOD NEWS for the Kingdom of God is at Hand!
